Now Playing: Flook, "Haven," "Souter Creek."

Appropriate music for today: it's been raining all day. Rain, rain, rain. Tiny yellow sweet gum leaves on the wet sidewalks, pressed and curled like baby hands, and vivid scarlet-and-gold sugar maple leaves bright as headlights through a window, and brown-and-yellow elm leaves furled like sherds of pottery.

Work, work, work. I'm trying to do a better job of preparing my students for their second essay, which is due on Friday. Being observed on Wednesday doesn't help the stress level, unfortunately.

Another perfect autumn evening happened today when Scott and I came back to my house from medieval Latin reading group. It was just starting to sprinkle outside as we walked in the door. Laura sat against the sofa, facing out onto the back patio through the open door, reading. The house was quiet. Scott and I started to make tea for my housemates, Cindy, Mary, and Eric. Since Kroger's cilantro selection left much to be desired, Scott had the delightful job of picking out the slimy or brown leaves from the bunch, while I chopped up chicken and marinated it in buttermilk.

Chicken curry was the main item on the menu tonight, straight out of an Indian-food-made-easy cookbook I bought at Borders in Chicago. While the wok heated, I diced tomatoes and onions, furiously trying to have them ready before the butter in the bottom of the wok started to spatter. Scott and Eric stood by, watching. In the living room, Cindy, Ethan, and Laura were chatting.

With Scott and Eric still keeping a lackadaisical eye on me, I sauteed the onions and garlic with cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, cardamom, and turmeric. Then tomatoes. Then, when all of that had become this sweet-smelling, bubbling mass, I added the chicken, and it all bubbled away together. Mary arrived, exuberant, flailing, uproariously energetic, and set about making a pear-and-spinach salad.

Just before the curry finished simmering, I threw in the actual curry powder, and Scott added the fresh cilantro. While we waited for it, we munched on the salad, and when at last it was ready, we all sat around the living room, cradling our bowls of warm, creamy curry and rice, and drinking the rich, red wine Eric had brought. Rain spattered on the patio behind us, and a north breeze swirled through the still-open patio door.

But inside everything was warm, fragrant, rich. We all sat around and talked, planning a trip to the opera sometime in the next few weeks, discussing books, etc. Laura and Mary cooked up a scheme for making a B-rated horror film. To follow the curry we had a red-wine-and-chocolate cake Laura had baked, with delicious fluffy icing.

After tea, Ethan, Lindsay, Scott, and I drove to the IU Auditorium for an orchestra concert at eight o'clock. We scuttled through the rain, keeping our heads down against the chilly wind. Inside we found that we were joining a stream of people into the auditorium, up through the tunnel from the atrium into the auditorium itself. Red plush seats, gold railings, gilt trim around the stage.

The orchestra played three pieces tonight. The entire second half of the concert was Camille Saint-Saens's Symphony No. 3 in C minor, "Organ." Fantastic (medieval Latin fantastic-us , late Latin phantasticus , < Greek ϕανταστικός , < ϕαντάζειν to make visible (middle voice ϕαντάζεσθαι , in late Greek to imagine, have visions) OED) in the true sense of the word: Gothic, evocative of Jane Eyre and The Hunchback of Notre Dame rolled into one--perfect for a stormy September evening.

In highschool I used to listen to this piece over and over, imagining all sorts of wild, grim, Scottish-Highlands-type stories to accompany the music. Yet I love the opening of the final movement, and indeed the whole final movement, with its resolution into clarion, bell-pealing, golden-toned victory. The organ, of course, helps with this, with its bold, clanging chords, as do the strings, which have incredibly difficult phrases to play as they build anticipation. Such a great piece.


After the concert Lisa, who had joined us after class, and the rest of us met up with Peter, who's sitting first chair in the orchestra right now. We all congratulated him on a job well done before making our way home through the rain.

Laura, Lindsay, and I watched The Pianist this evening. Now I want to listen to lots and lots of Chopin, and maybe Beethoven's "Moonlight." A gut-wrenching production, though not quite as intense as Schindler's List. Having seen both those films, I think I'm finished with World War II tales for a little while.

Every time I watch a World War II film, it makes me wonder what would happen if that were to happen here, now, again--what we would do, what would become of us--not just our society as a whole, but my small network of friends and family. A natural reaction, I suppose. The images of burned-out, bombed buildings make me shiver with the closeness of such a happening. I look at my cozy townhouse and know that one packet of explosives would reduce it in a few seconds, adding it to that landscape of past and future ruins.

Laura and I were musing after the film about how World War II really isn't that far away. It still looms over our cultural landscape, even as other wars have begun to replace it in immediacy. I sometimes think that the Holocaust is the nightmare of academia, and that that is what drives gender and race studies--the fear of such brutal discrimination returning.

For most of my class of freshman composition students, though, World War II may be much more in the shadowy past. Laura has a great-grandmother who endured the war in a concentration camp in Latvia; I have a grandfather who was at Normandy. Losing that generation will mean losing perspective. Even though films can't capture the horror of that war, at least they force me to remember what is at stake when something like that arises again. And they prompt me to be thankful for the comparative peace I enjoy now.

This past week was crazy but good.

Last Friday, Syneva drove up from Nashville to visit. It was really wonderful to get to see her. She, Cindy, and I went out to dinner at a Turkish restaurant. Though the evening was really too warm to sit outside, we did, and we ate delicious minty soup and grape leaves. On Saturday, Syneva, Scott, and I braved the heat again in order to go to the Fourth Street Festival, where we saw works by all sorts of local artists--woodworkers, painters, sculptors, glass-blowers, leather-workers, potters, etc.

On Monday it cooled down suddenly, so Laura organized a bonfire to celebrate the beginning of autumn. We have a fire pit behind our house, which served the occasion perfectly. Laura bought a big bag of enormous marshmallows for us to toast. Grant G., Peter, Nathaniel, Eric, Cindy, and Scott all joined us.

Then Emmaline flew into Indianapolis on Tuesday evening. Scott and I drove up to the airport to collect her. It was as though no time at all had passed since we'd seen each other; we picked right up with catching up on each other's lives. She stayed until Friday afternoon. Whenever I wasn't in class, we were doing things together: shopping at the mall, visiting Nashville to look at the artisans' shops, hiking Lake Griffey, exploring the zoo, or eating with friends from church. Scott even cooked a delicious pasta sauce for us one evening.

Yesterday afternoon was the church outreach picnic. Since I'm on the outreach committee, I helped set up, which took a solid couple of hours. During most of the picnic, I played with the small children, which was my designated job. Mostly that meant pushing Jane on the swing and opening bottles of bubbles and packages of chalk for the kids. It also meant that I got to talk to their parents--Wes and Angie, Amy, Minda--which was quite pleasant.

So it's been a wonderful week for hanging out with people, but now I'm a bit behind on school, so tomorrow will be an intense reading day.

Photos from last week are here.

Photos from last weekend are here.

Last weekend, Laura and I went to Chicago, a celebration of the end of the summer. We spent a lovely afternoon walking around downtown, especially Millennium Park. We met Anna R. for tea, went into Anthropologie, and visited the Art Museum, which was closed. That didn't make the lions outside any more impressive, or diminish the loveliness of the gardens as evening fell.

Scott, Eric, Laura, and I hiked to the waterfall at McCormick's Creek State Park this evening. Then we went to Mother Bear's for pizza and the Chocolate Moose for ice cream. A good way to celebrate the end of summer.

Now Playing: Mumford and Sons, "After the Storm."

It's moments of clarity and peace that I've come to value as most precious. Over the past year or so, fear and anxiety have never been very far away, and with them, the obstruction of God's grace that inevitably arises from sin. I become so anxious about the details of day-to-day life that anxiety frosts over God's providences, which ought to be windows onto His love and grace.

Case in point: in May, when the schoolyear finished and summer began, when Lisa and I found ourselves launched immediately into French classes, I was desperate for quiet. For time to reflect, to meditate, to pray, to be alone. The changes of the past year have been overwhelming--as wonderful as they've been in many ways--and I felt the compulsion to run and retreat from everything in order to get my head around what God had been doing.

But that desire for being alone only lead to more anxiety. I worshiped the moments of solitude I had and worried and fretted because I couldn't have more of them. Because I was worshiping solitude, not God, I couldn't it properly.

This week, though, I've suddenly, unexpectedly found that time given to me. I woke up on Monday to an empty house, and again this morning. This morning I cleaned the kitchen, baked scones, ate a scone and part of a peach for breakfast, drank tea, read some of Murder Must Advertise. And realized--as I'd known quite clearly all along, even back in May in the worst of it--that the anxiety was completely unnecessary. God knew when and where to give the time.

Now as I look forward to next week, when AI (Associate Instructor) orientation starts, I'm seeking the grace to keep God's love first in my mind and heart. Psalm 62:8, "Trust in Him at all times, o people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us."

Also this morning I read Psalm 105:1-6,
               "Oh give thanks to the Lord; call upon His name; make known His deeds among the peoples!
               Sing to Him, sing praises to Him; tell of all His wondrous works!
               Glory in His holy name; let the hearts of those who seek the Lord rejoice!
               Seek the Lord and His strength; seek His presence continually!
               Remember the wondrous works that He has done, His miracles, and the judgments He uttered, o offspring of Abraham, His servant, children of Jacob, His chosen ones!"

I'm to be defined by these actions: give thanks, call, make known, sing, glory, rejoice, seek, remember. No mention of being perfect, of managing every detail of life smoothly, of being obedient or righteous. That goes against my grain. I'm supposed to be a "good little Christian girl", after all. 

In Christ there's no such thing. There are only children of Jacob--"worm Jacob," as God calls His people in Isaiah, to remind them that they're completely worthless and helpless on their own. So I'm to do what the Confession calls faith: receive and rest. And I do that by these actions, these actions that build my identity as a child of Abraham, who walked by faith. Faith in a Savior who has done it all for me.

Now Playing: Psalm 13B.

We're having communion tonight in Bloomington. A couple of appropriate quotes:

But Christ took all our sins upon him, and for them died upon the cross: therefore it behoved that he should become a transgressor, and (as Isaiah saith, chap. 53) ‘to be reckoned among transgressors.’ And this, no doubt, all the prophets did foresee in spirit, that Christ should become the greatest transgressor, murderer, adulterer, thief, rebel, blasphemer, etc. that ever was or could be in all the world. For he being made a sacrifice for the sins of the whole world, is not now an innocent person and without sins, is not now the Son of God born of the Virgin Mary; but a sinner, which hath and carrieth the sin of Paul, who was a blasphemer, an oppressor and a persecutor; of Peter, which denied Christ; of David, which was an adulterer, a murderer, and caused the Gentiles to blaspheme the name of the Lord: and briefly, which hath and beareth all the sins of all men in his body, that he might make satisfaction for them with his own blood.  -  Martin Luther, commentary on Galatians 3:13

Yet the duties God requires of us are not in proportion to the strength we possess in ourselves. Rather, they are proportional to the resources available to us in Christ. We do not have the ability in ourselves to accomplish the least of God’s tasks. This is a law of grace. When we recognize it is impossible for us to perform a duty in our own strength, we will discover the secret of its accomplishment. But alas, this is a secret we often fail to discover.  -  John Owen, Sin & Temptation

Now Playing: Sufjan Stevens, "Amazing Grace."

Elizabeth visited yesterday. We sat outside on the back porch for an hour or so, and she told me all about the RPM team to Covenant Fellowship that she's been leading for the last month-and-a-half. Lots of great stories about inner-city Pittsburgh people...! Scott cooked dinner for us, and then he, Laura, Elizabeth, and I walked down to the Chocolate Moose for ice cream. We met a bunch of people there--Mary, Mallory, Eric, and Olivia--and sat in the park with our ice cream, by a fountain, under the brilliant three-quarters moon. Elizabeth and I talked all about Cyprus.

Today the weather is still cool and clear. It feels as though I'm back up at Horn Creek, or in Northern Ireland on one of its best days. A green hummingbird keeps visiting the zinnias on our back porch. It zooms up to look in the back door, then zooms to the zinnias, then to the lantanas, its tail scintillating as it hovers.

Tonight we're watching TTT EE and eating Chinese food! Ah, these final lovely days of summer.... I finished Have His Carcase earlier this week and started Excellent Women, a novel written in the 1950s by a British novelist, Barbara Pym, and recommended to me by Syneva. It's a bittersweet read, told from the perspective of a single middle-aged woman in the shadow of WWII. Like Jane Austen, but more melancholy.

Thunderstorm tonight to the northeast of us. No rain for our house, though.

Now Playing: Bach, Mass in B minor, "Gloria/gratias agimus tibi propter."

Photos from this past weekend and yesterday are in this album again.

Yesterday we had another poetry dinner, this time out at Scott's house. Eric grilled Mexican carne asada for us, and the rest of us chipped in. It was a delightfully colorful meal: a peach-and-spinach salad from Mary with purple onions in it, red and green peppers and onions on the grill, grilled corn-on-the-cob, guacamole, pico de gallo, and of course a ridiculous spicy salsa that Eric concocted. Never had anything so intense in my life! It tasted smoky, but perhaps that's only because it was slowly sizzling the lining of my mouth away.

That was appropriate, though, since the theme of our evening was fire. Scott read a tongue-in-cheek story about romantic passion by a Victorian author, Lord Dunsany; Cindy contributed along the same theme, with a reading of the lyrics to Cash's "Ring of Fire." I took it in another direction and blazed through the passage in The Hobbit in which Thorin and Co. are trapped in the pine trees by wargs and goblins. Eric and Lisa both wrote poems for the occasion, which kept us in stitches.

Highlights from this past week:

Meeting Mary's sister, Emily, at the party Mary hosted for her on Thursday.

A summer festival orchestra concert on Friday night at the IU auditorium. The program included the William Tell overture, The Pines of Rome, and Beethoven's 7th symphony. Absolutely gorgeous. I love the second and third movements of The Pines of Rome in particular, with the second movement's evocation of the catacombs and third movement's liquid, languid clarinet solo. Of course the Beethoven was stunning. The second movement of that symphony is almost enough to move one to tears. This time I found a new appreciation for the first and third movements, though; it was as though some huge, shining, overjoyed creature had escaped from backstage and come romping out into the concert hall.

Spending Saturday afternoon at Oliver winery with Scott, sitting on a blanket under maple trees, and reading part of The Story of the Champions of the Round Table and the first Father Brown mystery ("The Blue Cross"). His first introduction to G.K. Chesterton, whose inimitable style really shines in those short mysteries.

Later on Saturday, celebrating Eric's birthday by going out for sushi and then retiring to our house afterward to watch the extended Fellowship of the Ring with our (appropriately numbered) group of nine--Eric, Scott, Mary, Malory, Emily (Mary's sister), Lisa, Laura, Cindy, and me. We tried out mochi ice cream as a treat halfway through the long film.

And even though today is part of this week, not last week, seeing Uncle Scott and Aunt Anna at church today was definitely a highlight! The sort of lovely people who really communicate the love and joy of Christ, even as they prepare to return to hard work in the year ahead.

Now Playing: The Decemberists, "The King Is Dead."

Today has been blissfully peaceful as far as summer days go. I got up to run and listen to a sermon by Pastor D about the beginning of Ephesians 5, loving people. Later on, I had the chance to talk to both my parents, which was good.

This morning I managed to finish a chapter of French before lunch: imperfect, passe anterieur, more faire clauses, and so on. Lisa left for class at about noon. I baked peach scones, cleaned the house a bit while they were in the oven, and then spent the afternoon working on an article about a play for a database. Somehow I managed to finish a rough draft by the time Laura came home from work. She bounced upstairs and sat with me, flipping through pictures from the summer so far.

While I made tea downstairs--chicken, rice, green beans--Lisa sprawled on the sofa, browsing cooking magazines, and Laura sat nearby, strumming hymns on her guitar and singing. We ate together, and then Lisa and I went to Bible study at eight. The women's study this summer is working through Women Counseling Women, a book of essays edited by Elyse Fitzpatrick.

After Bible study I walked home. The evening was perfect, as perfect as a summer evening could be. The wind had changed to be from the northwest in cool gusts; the sky was cloudless; the air was dry and fresh. The sky resonated with deep color, as though it were the undulating silk of a pavilion roof, azure, peach, ochre. Bats zigzagged across it. I talked to Scott on the phone.

Nighttime was actually clear enough to be able to see Cygnus, Casseiopeia, the Big Dipper, and a hint of the Milky Way. Inside, the house smelled like chocolate chips and brownies. Laura had been baking for Mary's party tomorrow. She and I chatted about Les Miserables, which she'd watched while she was cooking, and then I went upstairs.

The new-ish beetle!

With the good ol' Buick still hanging out in the background. Looks like it's going to continue its trek north to Pennsylvania with Laura this fall. No retirement yet!

Today was car shopping day. We set out at about half nine with the goal of ending the morning in Loogootee, Indiana. On the way we stopped at two dealerships in Bloomington. The first salesman was a bit on the slicker side as far as trying to get me to buy things went. We'd found a Mitsubishi Lancer online on the lot that I liked, so I took it for a test drive. It behaved as well as could be expected and had a moon roof as a perk.

Having escaped that salesman, we went on to the next car, a Dodge Neon. The salesman there was an older fellow with an enormous Panama sunhat, who casually gave us the keys and let me take it for a drive. Again, it behaved itself. Its brakes were slightly better than the Lancer's. Always important.

Not terribly impressed so far, though both of those cars were 2005/2006, in my price range, with no terrible flaws, we set out for Loogootee. It's a fair drive from Bloomington, a good forty-five minutes or so. But the highway winds through some of the most beautiful countryside: high, rolling hills covered with thick hardwoods and the occasional grove of pines, sloping fields rich with corn and soybeans, pastures full of white Queen Anne's lace and yellow goldenrod, limestone quarries. It was about noon, and the distant hills were hazy, deep blue. Very peaceful to drive through that landscape.

Loogootee turned out to be a small but mostly prosperous town. The salesman was another older gentleman who put the least pressure of anyone: he actually handed us the keys and didn't stay around to sing the car's praises, but went inside and let me test drive it. The car was a Volkswagen Beetle, and it drove much more nicely than either of the other two. I couldn't believe it. I had set out wanting a Honda Civic or Ford Focus, but neither one of those cars existed in the market at a price that I could afford. It seemed ridiculous to be driving a buggy around, considering the amount of goofiness we always gave them as kids, but it was smooth and solid.

So we went inside the tiny office, and I told the salesman that I wanted to buy the car. After some phone calls to his boss (which were hilarious to overhear--small-town Indiana people are about as laconic as they come), he managed to take off six hundred dollars, which was almost enough to cover the sales tax. So away I went in a little tiny silver VW bug, over to the main dealership to pick up the title, and then back to Bloomington. I was so happy on the drive back that I couldn't stop smiling and thanking God. Had been praying for the last wee while for Him to provide, and He has!

That was just the beginning of the day's adventures, though. Mary came over at about half four, and while Scott kept us company, she and I made pesto and whole wheat noodles for tea tonight. Eric came over, too. Mary had never made pasta before, and I'd only made it with a pasta-maker, so it was rather an adventure. Homemade noodles cook fast, in about two minutes, and swell up to about three times their original size. Whole wheat pasta is pretty heavy, too. All those things were a surprise to us. With fresh pesto (from the basil on the back porch) and a strawberry-peach-spinach salad, though, it wasn't too bad.

We sat around joking for quite awhile after the meal. Laura had joined us; Lindsay has work in the evenings. Scott and Eric teased Lisa no end, which is about usual. At seven we went to the Hs' for our small group on Holding Hands, Holding Hearts. Somehow the Hs manage to pack a ridiculous number of people into their house even in the summer. Adam and Anne were there with wee Micah, and Scott, Mary, Lisa, and me; Laura had come with us, as had Eric, of course; Tom and Mary were there, and so were Russell and Nathaniel.

While Amy cut up brownies for dessert, Mary and I played with Anne and Jane. They rode piggyback on us, and we dashed around the house, with the two of them howling, screaming, and giggling from our backs. Ice cream and brownies for dessert. Scott, Laura, and I chatted with Tom's Mary about wedding plans. The small group discussion was about as usual, just talking about the book and its take on relationships. Good, plain, practical advice.

And so the evening ended with Scott and me back at the townhouse, saying good-night in the little buggy. Makes me laugh every time I think about it.

Now Playing: Jon Foreman, "Leaves and Branches," "House of God Forever."

Photos from Colorado are here.

We hiked up the Dry Lakes trail, with Horn Peak on the right. This is the basin that awaited us at the top, where we ate lunch.

More pictures from today here. Good times....

Scott, Laura, and I went to Waukomis today for gelato. Quite a sight, a BMW in Waukomis! The gelato was delicious, and on the way home we saw a tornado.

A small elephant trunk tornado, but a real tornado nonetheless. It was just hanging out in the field, not going anywhere, but it definitely prompted us to go somewhere much more quickly.

For being on holiday, I've spent a ridiculous amount of time in coffee shops over the last few days. Working on this project for Gale has been a bear. They've assigned us to write about one twenty-first century play a month as part of their push to put together a database of articles about twenty-first century plays.

The play I wrote about for June was a snarl of offensiveness, but for July I'm writing about an adaptation of Shakespeare's history dramas, the dramas centering on the War of the Roses. It definitely has its unorthodox components, but as a study in contemporary adaptation it's quite interesting. Thankfully the entry is nearly finished.

Highlights from the week so far include meeting Anna and Ruth for coffee on Monday, the traditional Enid Fourth of July party Monday evening, and baking thyme focaccia bread with Laura. Also introducing Scott to Braum's ice cream and Hideaway pizza.

The heat continues to be nearly unbearable. I'm not sure how anything is surviving, and if the heat and drought continue like this, the whole state may go up in flames before autumn comes.